Ready kids? I’m writing about my experience today in the endocrinology clinic. I’m not going to publish this until I’m done- and at the moment i’m only 3 hours in- and technically that’s only 2 hours into the actual test so i’ve got a long way to go! If you sense a mood and optimism plunge at some point then, just note that i’m not allowed to eat or drink until this is a wrap. You should have just made a face.
pre appointment info: Ate my usual breakfast, with some sunflower seed spread I made as an extra numnum since I knew I wouldn’t eat for a while (usual=oatmeal with splash of almond milk&water topped with frozen fruit and a banana). I was bad and drank a small cup of water 😦 I had to, don’t judge me! No coffee. So my morning routine was pretty normal besides the fact I didn’t make coffee, pack my lunch or drink a whole water bottle. So I dropped Rowena at her grandparents/aunts house for the day and made my way to the clinic.
Check in: 8:00am on the nose (boom in your face- i’m punctual).
Pretty much brought back right away, since i’m guessing the nurses here don’t want this to go a really long time any more than I do. Got a weight (which I will tell you because it’s medically relevant but never bring this up in convo) 102.9. Tried for like 5 minutes to find a vein, they only did one poke before they said “not happening” so I had to go to the phlebotomy lab and she poked me to get the first initial blood draw. Another poke, and then they called the IV team to come put the IV thread in. I must send this nursing team an apology letter for my veins…
In the middle of all of this fun I had to pee twice (every hour like i’m a cow or something…but in lieu of milk I just pee). No issues there obviously.
HOUR 2: next blood draw! IV is flushed, pull back aaaand nothing. *cue that music after a really bad joke*- to the phlebotomist I go! Weight already down a smidgen. Also more pee.
—for sanity I’ve been reading, playing on here and I tried walking around the clinic but the nurses keep laughing at me but whatever. Making friends left and right I tell ya- all the other patients must be grumpgrump or something. CHEER UP PEOPLE GEEZ
alright hour 3: No blood, just bathroom break. No more weight loss aka boring hour.
Hour 4: More blood, two sticks. No water, being cold and having small veins in the first place are not working out so well- who woulda thunk it?! Still waiting for the time when I can’t give a urine sample. Weight down another pound: ballpark 100.something–I can’t actually read my weight during these but can see a reflection on the wall haha
Hour 5: hungry. halfway through my book and tired- but also strangely feel like i’d like to go work out. da hell? Potty time was a-okay, haven’t fallen in yet! I’m awesome at this business. Kinda dizzy. Hour five is a buzz kill turns out…
Hour 6: bleh. I’m not even hungry anymore (jk i am but not tummy rumble kind of hungry, just dances of dinners in my head kind) but i’m super tired. Also, believe it or not, even more cold than usual. Why ya gotta be takin my blood and stuff Doc? Only one stick for blood this time; if you are about to ask “Hey Erin, how many times have you been stuck with a needle today?” I’d say to you”oh thanks for asking! There have been 6 different needles in my arms today”
Hour 7: Almost out of pee. MIRACLE HOUR. Bonus info: my book is getting interesting, I think I know who did it.
Hour 8: Turns out I was dizzy for a reason, Doctor called and was all “yo girl needs juice” so I got some apple juice- and It was glorious. The first liquid or solid I had ingested since 6:30am. I did not savor it…threw that sucker back like a shot and i’m not ashamed. Anyways after that it was decided I would get the vasopressin shot since my bloodwork and osmolality had finally reached the point of no return or whatever so i got that and had to wait just one more hour before i was released!
Grand Finale: Since I was the last patient in the entire clinic I chilled with whatever staff was left, watched some news…took out my IV and whatever. Unfortunately the last blood draw I had to do was the most complicated one and it took like 5 sticks to finally find a good spot. It happened eventually though so I was outta there right after I peed in a cup for what I hope is the last time ever.
Then I walked to my car, drove to my parents since Rowena was there and chowed on pizza. We went for a walk, and now I’m here. My arms feel like jello.