I’m 26 and I fail.

When I was 16 I was convinced I’d have a kid by the time I was 25. As I was turning 25, single with no chance of being in a relationship anytime soon and clearly no kids on the horizon I was panicking and pretty upset with myself. Over a year later I’m still single with no relationships in bloom and have looked into sperm donations far too many times. I see other people my age with cute, little newly-wed pictures and baby bumps- going on vacations and doing “we” things. I have my animals, I have yet to graduate to buying name brand groceries and have never in my life bought something without price shopping first.

I have what I need, and more to be considered “successful” in my age group- since apparently a lot of people aren’t into the whole working concept. I survive off of a very tiny salary and pay for things myself (though my parents are bomb and have helped me with things over the years such as yard work, donating furniture they don’t need etc) I have paid for my house, my car, my pets, and the upkeep of all of those things. What bugs me is not only that I so desperately want someone else to share these things with, that gut feeling that I know I would be doing so well if I had a partner to not only share what I have but to supplement with what they have..we’d be doing pretty darn well for ourselves. That being said I don’t NEED someone to help me live and I don’t expect anyone to alleviate me of my need to work. I want to work. I also want to be able to take a day off and not worry about what that means for my paycheck. I don’t enjoy vacations because I feel like I’m wasting money- I can’t take a sick day without worrying how that is going to alter my paycheck since it doesn’t count towards overtime. I also don’t understand how other people in my situation, or less fortunate even, are comfortable with buying more things than myself. How do they buy meals at restaurants, extra desserts and name brand clothes? I don’t even have Crayola crayons.

I’m setting my 2016 resolution early and vow to myself to learn how to drive to someone’s house and not be worried about the extra mileage I’m putting on my gas tank. I want to grocery shop without needing to study the price stickers for the cheapest option per unit and to one day grab a box of real live cheerios instead of toasted spins

Thans for setting me up for failure 16-year-old self, and while I’m at it 7-year-old me for deciding what field I wanted to work in before money was a factor. You guys are dumdums.


About Erin Goes Blah- I rant forever

Ever heard of Erin Go Brah? The horse obviously, not the saying! I'm him, in human form but slightly less successful and well known. Perhaps you've also heard of a man named William Shakespeare? In "A mid-summer nights dream" he says, "though she be but little, she is fierce" in reference to Hermia...I have a little bit of that in my mix too. I'm a 26-year-old big kid with occasional adult tendencies just trying to figure out my place in life. Chronically single and exhausted I am the keeper of two jobs and three pets. With approximately 2 hours of free time per day, ​I tend to use it relaxing- leading to much musings and wonderment. I plan on using this blog to reach out to others, and to my inner conscience to better understand my odd habits and talk myself out of them. I hope to bring attention to those in eating disorder recovery, by being open about my hardships and hurdles. I'm weird, silly and looking for someone to share the love with :)
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