I just walked a few loops around Lake Pine and somewhere halfway around mile 2 the talk show I was listening to had a psychic on. She was reading people and whatnot, and one lady was worried about conceiving again because of a very difficult first pregnancy/birth. I started to think about how terrified I am of not being able to have kids. Really the thing that scares me is getting the news…I think once I know for sure I’d be able to adjust and move on, but being that I definitely want kids I hate being unsure of the route I’ll have to take in order to achieve that. Next up, but related to is just plain dating. It’s a scary world out there!
On a professional level, I’m scared of never really finding my niche. I feel SO close to my perfect job, but I get the two-year itch according to my job history so what if that’s a lifelong habit? Will I be able to stay steady in a position for life? Or on the other side will I not be able to keep up with the demand and get phased out when newer, better models of myself show up on the scene? If I do end up staying with my job am I ever going to have enough money to live off of? Can I retire?
Lastly, I’m still worried that my neurotic exercise/nutrition patterns will never stabilize and there will never be a day that I can simple eat a piece of cake without going for a run. OR just be able to eat a piece of cake in the first place, even if I do go for a run.
So, in the spirit of Halloween I leave you with these scary thoughts of mine.