Things that scare me

I just walked a few loops around Lake Pine and somewhere halfway around mile 2 the talk show I was listening to had a psychic on. She was reading people and whatnot, and one lady was worried about conceiving again because of a very difficult first pregnancy/birth. I started to think about how terrified I am of not being able to have kids. Really the thing that scares me is getting the news…I think once I know for sure I’d be able to adjust and move on, but being that I definitely want kids I hate being unsure of the route I’ll have to take in order to achieve that. Next up, but related to is just plain dating. It’s a scary world out there!

On a professional level, I’m scared of never really finding my niche. I feel SO close to my perfect job, but I get the two-year itch according to my job history so what if that’s a lifelong habit? Will I be able to stay steady in a position for life? Or on the other side will I not be able to keep up with the demand and get phased out when newer, better models of myself show up on the scene? If I do end up staying with my job am I ever going to have enough money to live off of? Can I retire?

Lastly, I’m still worried that my neurotic exercise/nutrition patterns will never stabilize and there will never be a day that I can simple eat a piece of cake without going for a run. OR just be able to eat a piece of cake in the first place, even if I do go for a run.

 

So, in the spirit of Halloween I leave you with these scary thoughts of mine.

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About Erin Goes Blah- I rant forever

Ever heard of Erin Go Brah? The horse obviously, not the saying! I'm him, in human form but slightly less successful and well known. Perhaps you've also heard of a man named William Shakespeare? In "A mid-summer nights dream" he says, "though she be but little, she is fierce" in reference to Hermia...I have a little bit of that in my mix too. I'm a 26-year-old big kid with occasional adult tendencies just trying to figure out my place in life. Chronically single and exhausted I am the keeper of two jobs and three pets. With approximately 2 hours of free time per day, ​I tend to use it relaxing- leading to much musings and wonderment. I plan on using this blog to reach out to others, and to my inner conscience to better understand my odd habits and talk myself out of them. I hope to bring attention to those in eating disorder recovery, by being open about my hardships and hurdles. I'm weird, silly and looking for someone to share the love with :)
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