Public Plea

I feel like I post in circles. I have the same issues going round and round in my head and no end in sight to any of them. It’s annoying to me, and probably super annoying to read about. The harder I try to put myself out there and date, the worse my experiences are. I don’t really have any other option ,though.I can’t just stop going on dates and fall back into a cave of loneliness. I cannot comprehend how people are so nonchalant about relationships, sex and dating in general. The fact that I’m looking for something to evolve into something serious seems to baffle guys minds like I’m some kind of strange alien that they’ve never encountered before and I make absolutely no sense. Then when I do make plans to go on a date with someone and he just completely falls off the earth or continually cancel, I don’t know what to do. There’s a line between being flexible and understand and being a totally desperate pushover- but where is it? My standards might be specific, but I don’t think they’re exactly high. I want someone that wants similar things in the future as I do, that I can see myself having fun with by going hiking or being active together. Someone that wants a family, likes animals and has goals for their career. I don’t want someone to treat me like a princess or a porcelain doll, but rather as someone that complements them. Body type, race, religion, height, hair color etc are all things that I obviously have preferences for but not things that I would consider to be deal breakers. Somebody reading this, please tell me what I’m doing wrong. Do I just need to settle for someone that can’t spell or form sentences? Someone that I have nothing in common with and just wants to date me to have a woman to boss around?

In other news, I’m very conflicted in my brain about riding. I want to so badly, though the plans got a little derailed when I got bad family news that will take a lot of my thoughts over the next few months. I’ll never get rid of pony fever, but I’ve also now gotten hooked on boxing and running. I want to continue to progress at the gym, and I want to do a minimum of three half-marathons this year. I also don’t exactly have the money to fork out on a lease. What to do…


Anyway- as it is likely the last day in many months that I will be able to walk outside without turning purple I’m going to go enjoy a nearby trail for a few hours.


About Erin Goes Blah- I rant forever

Ever heard of Erin Go Brah? The horse obviously, not the saying! I'm him, in human form but slightly less successful and well known. Perhaps you've also heard of a man named William Shakespeare? In "A mid-summer nights dream" he says, "though she be but little, she is fierce" in reference to Hermia...I have a little bit of that in my mix too. I'm a 26-year-old big kid with occasional adult tendencies just trying to figure out my place in life. Chronically single and exhausted I am the keeper of two jobs and three pets. With approximately 2 hours of free time per day, ​I tend to use it relaxing- leading to much musings and wonderment. I plan on using this blog to reach out to others, and to my inner conscience to better understand my odd habits and talk myself out of them. I hope to bring attention to those in eating disorder recovery, by being open about my hardships and hurdles. I'm weird, silly and looking for someone to share the love with :)
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